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It was thrilling to watch the moving parts of a business come together; to feel that I could contribute.

The culture, insofar as our tiny company had one, revolved around the founders. While they sometimes bickered, I never saw anyone leave the conference room angry.

I’d never been in a room with so few women, so much money, and so many people champing at the bit to get a taste. It was like watching two ATMs in conversation. “I want big data on men talking about big data,” I whispered to one of the engineers, who ignored me.

The CEO and I didn’t always speak each other’s language. I was interested in talking about empathy, a buzzword used to the point of pure abstraction, and teaching the support engineers how to properly use punctuation. He was interested in running complex data analysis on our team’s performance and holding the boys accountable to numbers. I talked about compassionate analytics. He talked about optimizing. I wanted a team of tender hearts. He wanted a team of machines. “Why would I thank you for doing your job well?” the CEO asked, frowning. “That’s what I’m paying you for.”

The founders had hired her, she once told me, because they knew she would get things done, and the founders had been right: she quietly ran the show. I didn’t know why this skill set should be any less valued, culturally or monetarily, than the ability to write a Rails app.

Sometimes it felt like everyone was speaking a different language—or the same language with radically different rules. There was no common lexicon. Instead, people used a sort of nonlanguage, which was neither beautiful nor especially efficient: a mash-up of business-speak with athletic and wartime metaphors, inflated with self-importance.

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